Tired of Being the Warrior with Ydaiber Orozco

When Ydaiber came to the U.S. from Venezuela she had no idea the ways grief would infiltrate her life. Sudden loss became a part of her story more than once, and it was through facing her grief that she changed her life. This episode deals with sibling loss, sudden loss, and parent loss. You can find Ydaiber on IG @Ydaiber, or her website www.rekindleyourlight.com, or find her podcast "Rekindle Your Light" wherever you get your podcasts. 

Transcript

0:00

Hello, and welcome back to the grief trails podcast. Season two, I am your host, Amanda. Kernaghan from remember Graham's a small business dedicated to helping you support those in your life. Experiencing grief. I hope you'll consider sending someone a personalized card or a grief support box shipping within the us is always free and we treat each order with special care paying attention to every detail. Today's guest Ian diver Roskow is an actor, a soul purpose coach, and the founder of rekindle, your light, a venture. You will hear about later in the episode as inspired by her dad. And a message to her to follow her light. He diver came to the us from Venezuela. And was here for about six months when grief in the form of sudden loss rocked her. Years later, a similar law struck again. And through her subsequent experiences with grief, it led to changes in her career, her spiritual life. And the relationship she has with others. Let's take alyssa

Ydaiber: 0:58

So my story started in the year 2000. So I was at the moment working in the hospitality industry. I actually graduated. To do hotel management and, and I used to work in everything that had to do with the restaurant part of it. So it was room service, restaurants, pool service, coffee shops even event planning. So all of that was kind of like my, my background. And I clearly remember it was one of the busiest days ever. And at that moment I was managing coffee shop and an ice cream shop. They were part of a hotel back in Orlando. This is when I used to live in Orlando. And. You know, the entire day I had these uneasy feeling and like something was wrong, but I just didn't know what it was, you know, and I was dating my husband now at the moment. And I was going to his place after my shift and my shift ended up super late. And as I was heading home, you know, and I was literally like a Less than a 10 minute ride from the hotel to his place. In front of my eyes, you know, in my, I guess in my mind, I saw an accident happening and it kind of shook me, you know, because it was late. So I thought maybe I was falling asleep or I was too tired or something, but I literally arrived at his place and I just. It was weird. I just told him, I say, you know, what would I do? What would we do as a couple if I have to head back home and home being Venezuela. I'm originally from Venezuela and I had been in the States at that moment only about six months. So, you know, so going back was not out of the question. However, my question would was out of the normal, you know. But I didn't even know why I was asking it. I just felt that I had to go back, you know, and I remember clearly, I mean, we're talking about more than 20 years ago, going to bed and we were both awakened by the phone. You know, we had a landline back in the day and it was the news that my sister had passed in a car accident. And, you know, till this day, the loss of my sister is my biggest heartbreak, you know? I guess, you know, kind of like, your first cut is the deepest kind of thing, like the song, you know? I, I, yeah, I still grieve her, you know? This is not something that ever ends, you know? It was very difficult. I went back, I had to go back to Venezuela to be with my parents. You know, back in the day, it was not that difficult to travel back and forth. You know, nowadays it's. It's very, it's complicated and I went back, it was the worst weeks of my life, you know, and we made a decision as a family that I needed to head back to the States. That it was the best for me, that it was the best for my career, that it was the best for my, for my mental health. So, so I went back and went to work at the hotel again, you know, and I became a workaholic and that was my way to numb the pain. I was working insane amount of hours, both because the job was demanding, but mostly because I needed to not feel right,

Mandy: 4:08

distraction,

Ydaiber: 4:09

I needed an outlet, you know, and this went on for years, this was not like, Oh, a few months, this went on for years. And I remember at some point, you know, I imagine that it was a combination of me not ever being present present. And my, my husband, boyfriend at the time thinking like, how can I help her? You know, and he mentioned that he had seen an ad for a theater company that was holding auditions. And he's like, Oh, you know, I remember from university, you love to act, you know, maybe you should try it out. And I'm like, yeah, yeah, why not? And I went in and that was the beginning of my healing. You know, it took me years to get there, but it was just the beginning and connecting back to my creativity, to the thing that I love to do so much when I was a child, just brought me back to like, okay, maybe I don't want to work in hotels anymore. Maybe this is not even what I'm supposed to be doing, you know? So one thing led to the next, you know, next thing I know, I will sign up for another acting class, but this was. Or film. So it was like a film and TV kind of acting class. This is still back in Orlando. And after a few months going with this teacher, he says, you know what, I think that your time here in Orlando is up, you know, like you're really good, but you need to go and explore the world and do something else. And I'm like, What? Really? I'm like, I don't know. It was the one thing I knew was the, the only place that I had lived for so long since I left home. So he said, you know what, let me help you audition for, for something outside of Orlando. And we picked a summer program in New York and it was the only place I auditioned for because even then, I was so afraid of just like, Traveling to other states and find my way around it and audition in other places. So this company, this school was actually coming to Orlando. So I said, okay, perfect. I audition for them. And I did and I got in and I, I was like, okay, I'm going to spend my summer in New York city. Was

Mandy: 6:17

your husband able to come with you or were you? Oh, yeah.

Ydaiber: 6:21

Well, actually at the beginning, no, at the beginning, I went and did the program by myself and then eventually we moved to New York, you know, it was definitely the spark that I needed, the push that I needed to realize that I love. Performing so much and that I actually wanted to pursue a career in it, you know, I said, okay, well, I guess, you know, let's go and see what happens. And we arrived in New York, you know, naive as we could be, clueless of the situation clueless of what it meant to be a part of the union or any of those things. And at that moment, there was actually a writer's strike. So we're talking about 2008. You know, kind of like what is going on right now. Exactly. So there was no work, you know, there was there was nobody was. hiring, but I started to dive into classes and, you know, just trying to find my way around it and trying to meet people, make new friends, you know, which was very scary at the beginning. And fast forward, I was in New York at the end of the day for seven years, I pursue acting as a, as a career. I had a lot of highs and a lot of lows in those winters, you know, where, where you don't know why you're even there. I'm like, what am I doing with my life? You know, a lot of pondering, a lot of questioning. And, but I was having a little bit of success here and there, you know, it was like, oh, I would get a TV commercial or I would get a radio spot or, you know, I would do theater and all of that, you know, just. Fill me up so much. Yeah.

Mandy: 7:55

Anything creative I think is like a rollercoaster with success. And then those like down times where you think this is going nowhere, I'm not good enough. And that negative self-talk.

Ydaiber: 8:06

Yeah. And I think we put so much expectations and pressure on the results. You know, because it's almost like you measured your value based on somebody hiring me, you know, and, I've been able after many, many years to shift a little bit my perception around that, and try as much as possible to approach it from a place of, let me have fun with this and kind of forget about it. And that's when I usually get the job, you know, when I'm completely like not. invested in the results. So my time in New York was very special. And like I said, I don't want to romanticize what it is like to live in New York City because it is tough. And I did have to go back to my hospitality career and I was, you know, Having to switch between different kind of jobs just to stay afloat because it's extremely expensive and I try not to work for a little bit and I was like, Oh, no, I'm gonna have to go to work, you know, I couldn't just act and you know, that's the dream and then at some point I was getting tired of the winters that would make me very melancholic, and I was like, I, I need warm again in my life and we decided to move to LA. So this is back in 2014. So we arrived. So yes, it's going to be almost 10 years. So we arrived in LA 2014. Again, big dreams, big aspirations. And you know, I come with a resume filled with all of these theater credits and people are like, we don't care about theater. You know, my, my agent who luckily is still my agent till this day. He was like, yeah, just get rid of that. I'm like, but I was at the Atlantic. And he's like, yeah, no, it doesn't matter. He's like, leave a couple of them. So they know that you have had a stage experience, but he's like, no, we're going to focus on film and TV here. I'm like, okay. Great. And all my film credits were independent films, you know, nothing, nothing legit, but I started working with him and within my first month, I got a commercial that I ended up shooting in Mexico. So it was like my first like international job and it was so exciting and it felt good. You know, I felt very reassuring that I have made the right decision. And, you know, as I say, they, they, very similar than New York at the beginning, everything is amazing and fantastic and you're excited. And then you start wondering, Oh, what am I going to do now? So those 2014, 2016, then we get the news that my brother now dies in a car accident. Wow.

Mandy: 10:42

It's incredible that they, both of your siblings died in the same way and both suddenly. Yes. Was he in Venezuela also?

Ydaiber: 10:52

And this time the situation was very different, so I couldn't go, I just couldn't go. There was just no, I mean, I remember my dad telling me like, don't, don't even bother. This is super quick. Like he's pretty much going to be buried today kind of thing, because things there move really quickly. You know, there's no, just to give you an idea, there's no space. In funeral homes and in cemeteries, so everything moves really fast. Also, it's a cultural thing where people are not, you don't plan like for a funeral with a eulogy. That doesn't, I didn't grow up in that. I don't know if things have changed since I left, but the environment is very different. You know, it's like you don't really have a time to, to celebrate the life. You do it afterwards if you want to. When your

Mandy: 11:40

sister passed, were you able to make it back in time for a funeral, or?

Ydaiber: 11:45

I did barely made it, barely made it. I remember, I remember arriving at the funeral home and they telling me, they were just waiting for you to take her. So that was, yeah, if it, again, it was so overwhelming, you know, and my mom at that time used to be a principal at a school, and I don't know what they call it here, but it's like the person under the principal that also kind of it's the person responsible for the school when the principal is not there. So she was the principal in 1. The sub principal in the other one, and she was teaching. So my mom was super busy, and she also had a lot of students. So it was very overwhelming for me to arrive, and all I remember is seeing all these kids that I didn't know who they were, you know. And, and, and, and also, even though I had only been gone for six months. Seeing the change of, my mom aged 10 years in those six months, you know my, I remember my grandmother had lost so much weight. I mean, there was like physically people look different to me and yeah, it was, it was just very shocking. It was just, everything was just very, very, very shocking. And again, I had no tools, no nothing on how to deal with it. And as you know, when a sibling passes away, we take responsibility for our parents. And it was extremely difficult because everybody, everybody kept telling me, you have to be strong. You have to be strong. You have to be strong. Don't let your mom see you cry. And it was so hard. So I never was able to grieve my sister until years later when I was in therapy, years, I'm talking about a decade at least, you know, and I didn't realize how much I was holding on. Inside because I was never able to express it.

Mandy: 13:33

It's such a common phrase that people say, and they'll either say you have to be stronger. You are so strong. And I used to, I've always hated that when people would tell me that, cause you have no choice. You're thrown into this scenario. You didn't ask for it. And. Yeah, I think it can definitely cause people to internalize and feel like they can't show how much they're struggling with what's happening

Ydaiber: 13:56

around them. Yeah, you know, even last year, I remember I was doing a quiz for a program that I was enrolled in, and the quiz was about to determine Your main archetypes, like how do you show up in the world? And you know, you've, you know, the usual quiz, you fill out the answers and then you get the results. And then my archetypes were defined as, and you know, and this is a quiz not to take anything too hard, but my, my archetypes were defined as the nurturer and the warrior. And I was so pissed off about it. Because I say, I'm tired of being the warrior. I am tired of taking care of people. I need someone to come and hold me and take care of me, you know, and. With the months and the time, I, I went back to embrace that side of me from a different perspective. But at the moment, it triggered me. It triggered me really bad because I'm like, this is what I've been doing my entire life. I've been warrior and things, you know, I've been fighting things. And I didn't want to do that anymore, I kind of wanted to just let go and and leaning the feelings and the emotions that were coming up. So, so when my brother died, you know, I, I was not as close as my brother as I was with my sister, you know, he was my half brother and he came to the world when I was already 16. So. I left the, I left to the States when I was early 20. So I didn't get to, to see much of him growing up. You know, he came and visited me once in the States and, you know, I talked to him and then we had a good relationship, but I, it was not the death, of someone that you grow up with in the same household and that you'd get to see every day. Nonetheless, it was very shocking. It was very painful. It felt. Like a deja vu, you know, it felt like why there was a lot of why this is happening to me again, you know what is the lesson? What, what am I supposed to get from this? And mind you that in between my sister and my brother, I lost two different cousins in car accidents as well. One was a baby. One was a baby. She was only two years old. And then one was my dear cousin who was I just graduated from university and it was a very tragic accident as well and the accident with my little cousin was a very similar type of accident than the one with my sister. So you know, so again, this, this feelings have been bubbling up for way too many years, you know, and, and, and dealing with death has been something I've been. Way too close to one to familiarize with, you know, so, you know, so with my brother, I approached it differently in the sense that I went and asked for help. And I went to a grief group and I started to do therapy here and there, you know, I was just looking for what tools I could use and it helped, you know, it definitely helped. It definitely felt that there was a process of, you honoring, his memory versus the resentment of why are you leaving me to, you know, that there's a lot of guilt, you know, as a sibling that, that why them and not me, you know, this kind of things come up a lot. And they came a lot during that time, seeing how much my dad was suffering was very painful for me. Oh,

Mandy: 17:30

yes. I've been there too. And watching your parents grieve is. It's horrible. It's so hard to see the pain on their face because you want to, but like as a child, you always think your parents are like the strongest and then to like see them break down as so. So hard.

Ydaiber: 17:47

It was so hard, you know? And my dad was in Venezuela and then I had the pressure on my dad's family side that we're like, you need to do something. You need to bring your dad with you to the states you need. And there was, so many other elements that people didn't think about, they didn't even ask. You know, it's like I live in a one bedroom apartment, with my husband. Dog, you know, it's like where, you know, if I bring my dad where and for how long, you know, so we ended up doing it. I think he was with me for about a month. Very challenging, very, very challenging as an adult to live with my dad again. I had not lived with my dad since I was 11. So it was very challenging and it was very challenging to know. And see how depressed he was and how reluctant he was about getting help, any kind of help, you know, it was like this kind of people that just. Don't, they just don't want to face it. So he didn't want to have the difficult conversations. He didn't want me to have him go see someone if he didn't want to talk to me. Well, would you talk to someone else? Nope. Nope. He would be like, you know, I don't like that. So I know you don't like it. I don't like it either, but I think it will help you. And he was completely reluctant. Nope. Nope. Nope. No doing it. He was not taking care of himself physically, you know? So his food intake was, I had to watch what he was eating. I have to like become very parental, you know, I'm protective. He was not taking his meds properly, you know, too many things, too, too many things. And I clearly remember when my dad left at the airport, I knew that that was the last time I was going to see him. I just knew it. And this is a feeling I actually had with my sister as well, because my sister, before the accident, she had come in to see me spend like a summer, not a whole summer, but spend like a few weeks with me. And we got to go to Disney, you know, because again, I was in Orlando, so we got to, we got to do a lot of fun stuff. And I remember coming back from the airport after dropping her off and I was sobbing and I was like, Oh my God, why does this feel like this is the last time I'm going to see her? And she was like, Oh, no, forget it. so I feel that I have always had this connection with the spiritual world, you know, like they have communicated to me in different ways and, and, you know, seeing the accident before it happened or while it was happening, because when I did the math, I was like, this is when the accident was happening. Actually, the time. That's incredible. Girl, and I'm telling you, I, I wanted to shut it down and I did for many years. You know, I'm like, I don't want to see this things. I don't want to receive this messages. I don't, I don't want it. I don't want it. Whatever this is, is I don't want it. And I closed myself spiritually for so long, but then, you know, there's that, there's that call that we all have in our soul. All of us have it. This is not something that is unique, special to me. We all have the ability to receive the messages that we are meant to be receiving. When we stay open and we, when we stay present and I remember my aunt, who is the mother of the cousin who ended up dying in a car accident. She, when he died I was just amazed at how she dealt with it, you know, and, and not so much about being strong. It was more about an acceptance that was even beautiful to witness. And she was, she is still this day. She's so confident that this is part of the journey that he needed to take to learn the lessons he needed to learn and that she needed to learn. So she accepts that in a way that she's like, I get it. This is what it was supposed to happen. This is what it was meant to happen. And my love for him, it's never going to change. If anything has gotten bigger. And I didn't get that at the beginning, you know, I didn't, I couldn't How someone could easily accept something, so big like that until I lost my dad and he left me the biggest gifts that he didn't even give me while he was alive. You know, I was always daddy's girl, but my dad and I could never had a deep conversation. He was just too uncomfortable to have them. And I create them so bad, you know, I wanted to, I wanted my dad to know how I was feeling, but he just, he just couldn't be there emotionally, you know, he just didn't have it in him to, to sit down still for a minute. And even, you know, he would interrupt me every 30 seconds and he would drive me insane. So, however, As he was passing and after he died, I started getting the messages and I started getting the conversations and I started getting the responses and I started getting the dreams and the super vivid dreams where he tells me specifically, you know, this is, this is what you need to do. So when, my dad ended up dying of COVID or at least that's what we think, you know, we, we never got confirmation because. Again, Venezuela, it's a mess, you know, people were dropping like flies over there and there was not even an autopsy, there was nothing like, it was, I mean, if I thought my brother's process was fast, my dad was like, he was like cremated the next day, something like that. It was insane how fast everything was. No time for processing, no time for anything. and I knew that my dad wouldn't want me to go there anyways, because it's dangerous and, and it's, it's messy and it's complicated, so he just, I, I know he didn't want me there, but I was not going to make it anyways, even if I tried, I would not have even made it. Right, if you couldn't

Mandy: 23:22

make it when your brother had passed with COVID and all of the travel barriers that that brings up, crossing a border, yeah.

Ydaiber: 23:30

Yeah. And you know, the thing with Venezuela is that they didn't get the first, even, I don't even think the second wave of COVID. I think that by the time we were on our third one, that's when things got back there. So when he got it, because you know, it was already 2021, it was like, Boom, like fast, like he didn't even last a week. I mean, it was, I mean, he had obviously all the preexisting conditions and all of the bad eating habits, so forth and so on. And also the emotional part of it, you know, there was, there was, there was a hole in his heart, you know, and I, I remember that the first night I had a dream with him, he kind of shrugged his shoulders and was like, You know, I was ready, I wanted to go, you know, he lost his, his will to live after we lost my brother, you know, there was just no doubt about that. So I think he, and he keeps telling me in the dreams, I mean, now we are past that, but he kept telling me, you understand, right? You get it, right? No, I get, I do. I do. You know, and, and, and, and then I understood my aunt and I said, Oh, this is what she meant. I get it. I get it. Yeah. He is. Yeah. I'm telling you that the, the gifts that he has given me, you know, I, I heard the words follow your light as he was passing and I have no idea what that meant. And now, you know, I opened a business and I created a business and it's called rekindle your light and it's in honor of him. I became a sole purpose coach. I still act, you know, act, it's always going to be my first love, but even acting, it's now more purposeful, you know, I feel different. And with the coaching business and it's all about. Lifting people up who are in the depth of darkness because I've been there so many times, you know, so I know what it feels like. I know over and over, you know, and at the same time, I have now many tools that I have acquired throughout the years to being able to to face these things in a different way. You know, I remember the day after my dad passed, you know, and I was You know, I was I was devastated, but I call my coach and I say, listen, I don't know if I'm ready to talk to you yet. And she said, no, no, no. The sooner we start clearing energy, the better the process will go. I said, okay, let's do it. So you know, it's not easy to go through the process of, not being able to even say a word because you're, you're. Choking out of emotion and pain and, and, but you still push through it and get it done, you know, it's not easy to sit in meditation when you're going through so much pain. It's not easy to move your body when all you want to do is like, like roll in bed and I did it, you know, I roll in bed. for several days. And I remember my husband and my mom, Nope, get up, get up. Come on. I'm like, I don't want you. And they're like, get up. And it was the first time I think that I felt that, Oh, this is when I don't have to be a warrior. This is when I can allow other people to take care of me, you know, and my husband is horrible with words, but he's the best with actions. Horrible. Yeah, he knows it. He doesn't know what to say. It's uncomfortable. It's uncomfortable for everybody, you know, let's be honest. Yeah, nobody wants to be talking about death or they don't know what to say, so he's not extend from that, but he would show up with like all my favorite things in the world and just like, okay, let's cuddle, you know, and, and, and try to get to it, and it's been a journey that I'm grateful to have hand in hand with someone else because he's been from, he's been there for me for the three deaths. And he has seen the experience that I've gone through on the growth and, and, and, you know, he's that solid person that I can lean on, you know, and then he's my mom, you know, because now obviously my mom had feelings. They had been divorced for so many years, but she had, obviously she, it was someone who she loved, but. She was able to be there for me to, you know, and she was able to be there when I lost my brother because it was not her son. So some very, very fortunate to have those two pillars in my life. And it's so difficult when you're going through it to ask for help, and there's a I think it's beautiful

Mandy: 27:54

that you said when your dad passed, you were able to let your mom and your husband be there for you in different ways, probably than you had for your previous losses. And by doing that, you felt like you were able to give up that identity of warrior and nurturer and let Let other people nurture you. And then through that experience is where you really felt like you made a shift in your life and things became more clear and you were more open to, you know, these messages and connections and everything. And I think those are definitely

Ydaiber: 28:23

related. Yeah. And there's a softness that I have allowed to now be a part of my life. You know, I think I, I was one of those girls who grew up with a father who was very competitive, so my dad was always like, you have to be the best and I would do anything to be the best, you know, and I had to be the best at everything, I still have that ingrained in me. Like sometimes, sometimes I know my, I'm on my bike on my Peloton and I'm like, Who are you competing with? It doesn't matter. I have to win, you know, like that kind of like, like, again, that very warrior energy. And I have been able in the last couple of years to, to soften that side, you know, and it's, It's never going to go away because it's a part of who I am, but allowing someone to love you, allowing somebody to take care of you, allowing somebody, even yourself, allowing to just be with yourself and, and feel what you got to feel, you know, feel their emotions and let them roam wild. And you know that after a good cry, you'll feel better the next day, you know Allowing the, not doing anything sometimes, which is one of the hardest things for me to ever do. I'm a doer. I get shut down, you know, and it's like, okay it's okay to just not have to do anything, but it's, it's, it's still a challenge for me. But those are the things that, that have helped me throughout the years. You know, leaning, leaning in my feelings, leaning in my emotions, and leaning in people's help and kindness and love.

Mandy: 29:53

Yeah, it sounds like, you know, when your sister passed. You dove into work to stay busy and to not have to face all of the emotions and feelings at the depth that they were, and then you were able to sort of learn what you really needed, and with subsequent losses, you were able to give that to yourself. So by the time your dad passed, you were able to To really say, okay, I, I need to not do anything right now. I need to sit in this. I need to talk to someone right away. I need to do all the things that my body is telling me I need to do instead of pushing it away. Like you had with your sister. I had, you know, a similar experience where after my. Mom died. I had a really hard time. And when my brother died, I went to therapy right away because I was like, I need to get on top of

Ydaiber: 30:41

this. I'm not going to fix it. Yeah,

Mandy: 30:44

right. So just like you, you said right away, you talked to someone and. I remember the first therapist who I saw, who I did not connect well with, she said to me, well, you know what to do because you've grieved for your mom. And that made me really angry because it was like, I don't know what to do and you're here to help me. And, but then I switched therapists and my second therapist said, I, that that original therapist didn't say it in the right way, but had a point that your body and you have learned. The things that really helped you come out of that, that experience. And this one is different, but there are things that you've learned through your prior experiences. And so I do think we, with subsequent losses, start to learn what our bodies really need, what our souls really need to be able to find that healing and maybe do it a little bit cleaner than we do the first time.

Ydaiber: 31:35

Yeah. And you know, and on the spiritual level, I felt that he was. Even my spiritual awakening, you know, I think it was like they've been knocking on the door for a while, you know, through different experiences and I'm not going to be egotistical enough to say, well, this happened because it's all for me. That's not what I'm saying, but instead it's more like. Will this happen? So what? What can I learn from it? What can I share from it? Because something that I think, you know, coming from a from a Latin culture, we are told when we're kids that the problems you keep it in the house, you don't share these things. You don't talk about these things. And I most Likely grew up like, like that, you know, like, like there are things that are just private. You don't talk about it. And now I'm doing completely the opposite. I'm, I'm telling anybody who are willing to listen, because I have discovered just like as an actor, the power of storytelling is the same, you know, for my human being mess, you know, to be human and to share these stories because If even me telling the story makes someone feel like, wow, she was able to get through this and through this and through this and she is a functional adult person then, then that's good. Then that's good. Then I, then my mission, you know, I can say, okay, it's. I'm doing what I'm supposed to be doing and I have felt these eagerness to speak and to share and to talk about these things and to normalize these talks too, you know, so that when somebody else goes through, through these painful losses, then they know that it's okay to bring it up to their friend, to bring it up to their family, to bring it up to their workplace. You know and not feel like we are burdened to someone else for doing that, and the right people, the people who love you, they will accept that heaviness at the beginning, even if they just have to sit next to you in silence. Absolutely. Because they don't know what to say. Yeah. Mm hmm.

Mandy: 33:41

I love that. So tell me about after your dad died and you started this new business, what do you do?

Ydaiber: 33:47

Yeah. So at first I began, I connected with a practice called emotion code. This is something that I was already doing as a client. So the emotional code is a process of healing that has to do with. Getting rid of your trapped emotions. So when I started this process, a lot of grief came up, you know? And the thing is that the person that I, my, my coach, who's now my mentor, she didn't know anything about me. So when our first session, she's tapping into my subconscious and the first emotion that comes out is grief. I lost it. And I realized all the years and decades of holding into these emotions that I had. So we started, you know, so what you do with that technique is identifying the emotions trapped in your subconscious and trapped in your body and start releasing them. So you start releasing them, that could be a process of three, four sessions. It could take months or it could be an ongoing thing that you do for maintenance. So I worked with her for many, many, many months. So when I get the message that I needed to follow my light and create more light into the world, I decided to become certified in that method. So I became certified. So I'm an emotion code practitioner. And as I was doing that, and I actually, interesting enough, I graduated on my dad's anniversary. So it, it was, it was one of, again, one of those messages and gifts that I keep getting from him. So I graduated, I started my practice and I wanted more. I just wanted to do something else and I'm like, okay, this is great. And this is good for releasing for that part of releasing and kind of like reprogramming. But I want to be able to help people beyond that. So it's like, that's kind of like the first phase. So let's do all the releasing. But now I want to be able to, to work on what else do you want from life? So now that you don't have these heavy emotions, what do you want? What, what is it? What is your purpose? And I didn't know how to word it out. I'm like, I have no idea what that would look like. But then. A program literally came into my Instagram feed and it was about that. It was about figuring out your purpose so that you could help others live theirs. So I enrolled in that program that was last year, and it's been almost a year, actually. And it was a six months heavy dive deep into your own emotions and your own systems and your own tools. We learned a lot of tools. And you know, now we even incorporated human design, and you ever heard of human design, but it's kind of like astrology combined with a Chinese I Ching and Kabbalah. And. To me, it's been the most eye opening tool that I have used. I have felt the most seen and connected when I understood my human design. So I became certified in human design because to me, it's such a powerful tool that I'm like, okay, this is something that I want people to see themselves, how authentically. They came into this world and how we're living out of alignment, you know so, so those 3 things. So those, those 3 modalities, so it's emotion code, human design. So those are like the 1st phases. And then I incorporate my sole purpose coaching into the next phases. So I work with clients in a 3 month, basis, at least as the initial phase, and either work one on one with them, or I also hold workshops sometimes in a specific theme. So sometimes I focus on right now I just released my first ebook that is about intentionally manifesting. So setting intentions and getting clarity on the things that you want and the steps that you can follow to get. To manifest what you, what you're trying to manifest. And sometimes I do a workshop around creativity because it's such a big thing in my life. So it's like, how do we tap more into creativity? And my goal is eventually to bring these workshops into workplaces. You know, I feel that if we had access as employees to this kind of information, to this kind of powerful Building habits situation. I feel like people will be less dissatisfied with their jobs, you know, and experience less burned out because they will have access to tools that they can implement while they're at work, you know, well, well, under time off or under break or before going to work or after work. So. So I'm I'm a huge believer into creating healthy habits and, and you create them by learning about them first. So I realized in the Hispanic community, especially people that my age or older, they just, they never had access to this information. And coming from the hotel business, you know, the, the people who work as housekeepers and, as bosses, they, they never heard a lot of these things and, and they might by instinct know what. What is it? But no, because somebody have taught them. So so my goal is to do that, you know, to eventually get into workplaces and help people or talk about these things on a stage. You know, I do dream of being I always. Joke about it, but I guess the more I say it and the more I'll probably believe it. But I'm like, I can see myself being like the Latina Mel Robbins or Gabby Bernstein. Yeah, I love those two women so much. And, you know, to do a TED talk. And I don't know, I don't know where this will take me. But I know that right now I'm focusing on creating and maintaining that spark, that light often, as often as I can, you know, through all the things that I do in life, you know, so whether it's showing up authentically in a conversation with you or, you know, reaching out to a friend to check in on them, you know, everything that I'm doing, I'm trying my best. To make sure that it's coming from a place of authenticity and really wanting to do it. And not because I should or have to do something. So, yeah, so that's where I'm at right now and that's what the business is about. So you can find me on rekindledyourlife. com and there's all the information there about how to work with me one on one. Or if you want to do like a group workshop. Get all your friends together and we plan something we can do that as well. So I, because I have the background in the event business, then I could theme anything out pretty much, you know, I could just do an event around anything. So, yeah, so that's what Rekindle Your Light is. I

Mandy: 40:24

love it. Thank you so much for sharing your story and you know how you came from living in Orlando and losing your sister suddenly and how you struggled healing from that and then on to your brother and your dad and where it's led you today is just a very powerful story. And I definitely feel like you do shine a light and I'm excited to see where it takes you as you move forward in life. And I'm really grateful for the connection that we've made.

40:53

Divers story makes me think about the way some things seem to appear in our lives and cycles different yet similar to things in our past. For her, it was car accidents, but for you, it may be something completely different. As a writing prompt to try to take a big picture, look back through your life. Where do you see some repetition? Is there any personal meaning you've made from these experiences? Thank you so much for listening, please make sure you subscribe. Share this episode with anyone who could benefit from it and as always visit, remember grams. Anytime you need to send a little love to someone who is grieving. Thank you and have a wonderful day